A 3-Step Plan For When You Can't Sleep (Find The Eight Episode #11)

In past articles and Find The Eight episodes, we’ve gone over the importance of not attempting sleep until your body is ready for sleep and the sleep blockers that may be keeping you from getting into the right zone for sleep.

But, when it comes to putting this altogether to know exactly what do in the moment when you can’t sleep, things get tricky.

In school, you were probably taught about how to put together a good fire safety plan.  

The key is that it has to be really simple, because, in the moment when you are stressed, you’re not going to follow a complicated plan.  

If the plan is vague or too complicated, it’s just too easy to default to old responses and habits--which often tend to make things worse in the short and the long term--like lying in bed when you have no chance for sleep.

So in this episode, we’re going to go over a simple three step-plan to follow when you can’t sleep.

Here's a cheatsheet that you can download and pin up on your bulletin board or on the wall until these steps become automatic.

STEP #1: IF YOUR BODY ISN'T READY FOR SLEEP, DON'T TRY TO SLEEP

Ask yourself the following questions:

Have I been awake long enough based on the 14 hour rule? Have I been physically active enough? Is it the right time for my clock to sleep?

If based on your answers to these questions, you think your body is ready for sleep then move on to step #2.

If not, then then don't expect or try to sleep and stay out of bed. Sleep is not possible and trying to sleep actually makes things worse by creating an opportunity for worry, frustration, and behaviours like scrolling on your phone that tend to make it even harder to sleep.

STEP #2: IF YOUR BODY IS READY FOR SLEEP BUT YOU STILL CAN'T SLEEP, THEN ADDRESS IN-THE-MOMENT SLEEP BLOCKERS

If you’re in bed, get out of bed if you’re alert or if it’s been more than 15 minutes awake in bed. Don’t return until you feel like you’re on the edge of sleep.

If you’re not yet in bed, don’t get into bed until you feel like you could fall asleep within the next 10 minutes.

Do something else that you find enjoyable until you feel sleepy but is also not going to alert you and block sleep.  

Listen to calm music, a podcast or an audiobook. Read. Look at a picture book or graphic novel. Answer a writing prompt. Write. Have a bath or shower.  

Do a guided relaxation exercise on Calm or Mindshift.

Prepare stuff for the following day. Play an instrument. Craft. Do art. Stretch.  

Have a quiet conversation with someone.

As much as possible, avoid screens and stuff that is going to alert you.

If your mind is really active, capture thoughts quickly on paper--to-dos, worries, problems, things to remember, ideas, plans, or memories.

This practice can allow your mind to let go of things long enough to allow you to relax and become sleepy.

STEP #3: IF NOTHING WORKS, REFRAME THE SITUATION

What if nothing works?

Sometimes, you’ve done everything you can but sleepiness still doesn’t come.

You may not sleep well but you can avoid making an unfortunate situation worse.

In these situations, the best option is to stop focusing on trying to sleep and to accept that you may just have a poor night's sleep.

Instead of thinking “I must sleep right now”, tell yourself that “Forcing sleep makes it harder to sleep” and focus on something else.

Instead of thinking “This is such a waste of time”, tell yourself that “This is bonus time” and use this time to do something that you wouldn’t have otherwise had the chance to do.

Instead of thinking things like “I won’t be able to focus in class tomorrow,” remind yourself that thought you may not feel amazing the next day, you’ll probably function better than you expect.  

Because our minds have a way of focusing on all the times things went wrong, it’s common to forget about all the times you were ok after a poor night’s sleep.

Remind yourself that there is a silver-lining. If you get little or no sleep tonight and can avoid napping the following day, you’ll likely be really sleepy by tomorrow night because you’ll have built up a lot of sleep drive, setting you up for a good night’s sleep.

Finally, it's important to avoid attaching unhelpful meaning to a poor night's sleep.

Sometimes a poor night’s sleep is just a poor night’s sleep. It doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you or that you’ll never sleep well.

ACTION:

Print off the cheat sheet for this 3-step plan. It can be found here.

SUMMARY:

So to summarize, the three steps to take in the moment when you can't sleep are as follows: 

1. Don’t try to sleep until your body is ready for sleep.

2. Address sleep blockers.

3. Reframe the situation.

If you want to avoid and falling into the common traps that make sleep worse and take the right steps to sleep as easily as you can, having a simple plan that you can follow in the moment is crucial.

NEXT:

Defining Your Sleep Goals And The Rested Version Of Your Life

LINKS:

• Options for relaxing: calm music playlist, podcasts that help you relax, writing prompt journals, Calm app, Mindshift app

• Episode 1: The No. 1 Sleep Trap That You Need To Avoid

• Episode 4: Is Your Bed Keeping You Awake?

• Episode 7: What To Do When Your Mind is Keeping You Awake

• Episode 8: How To Use The 2-Minute Rule To Get More Done

• Episode 9: Sleep Blocker That May Be Keeping You Out Of The Zone